Hello and thank you for visiting. I hope my blog is for you.
My name is Olga. I am a former stutter turned an independent researcher. Devoted 7 years of my life to defining and understanding stuttering. Not an SLT or a doctor.
I was unhappy with the progress I made on speech therapy. The approach did make my stuttering less prominent, but my speech sounded unnatural and stilted. No matter how thoroughly I followed the technique; my mind was still riddled with anxiety. I blocked frequently. Even in desensitized situations, where people knew I stuttered.
The technique did not just control my stutter, it controlled me. It blocked my personality, preventing me from expressing myself the way I wanted. Constantly policing my breathing, body language, word choice, etc. I felt locked inside a tiny room. It was hard to breathe.
No technique would give me that unconditional freedom. Limitless self-expression. I realized that techniques only mask the problem. Drive stuttering deeper into the psyche but do not solve it. It is self-deceit.
So, I left all control tools behind and embarked on the journey. Solo. I was told that if I drop control my stuttering would return in no time, and I’d be back in «the stuttering hell». But speech only got better and better.
I stuttered for 15 years. Since 13. The sudden disfluency came as a shock to me and my family. I had never had speech problems nor shown signs of hesitation. A s a child, I was a vivacious and beautifully fluent. My parents were perfectly fluent, so were my grandparents. No history of anyone stammering in my family.
All changed when I entered puberty. I became acutely receptive and sensitive to everything that was going on around me. Hesitation gradually turned into speech interruptions. Mild, at first. Then occasional blocking occurred. Become more frequent, until one day I froze unable to utter a sound.
My classmates laughed, and I felt humiliated. My educators laughed too. They did not know what stuttering was and thought I was messing.
From this point on, I began to fear of speaking. To save myself from further public ridicule, I devised a set of tricks, excuses, and false – behaviors. Anything from pretending I was mute to pulling sickies. Anything just to avoid social interactions.
Over the years, tricks morphed into what was now my fake personality. The authentic me has been pushed aside and clouded over. Almost invisible. Only an undistinguishable shadow of it remained.
I was a fake. My life was fake.
What I discovered surpassed all expectations.
Not only did I restore the beautiful fluency I enjoyed as a child, but I found something more important. Hidden within laid a chest of priceless treasures. The determination of steel, intelligence, empathy, ability to see ordinary things in new lights. The abilities and potential, I never knew I possessed. And, how could I notice my strengths? If all I did was lashing and comparing myself to “better” others. Feeling undeserving and inferior.
I was blind-folded. Living in complete darkness of false beliefs and lies said about me by other people which I gullibly believed.
I transformed beyond recognition. Masks were removed, vision cleared. Reunited with the real me, I shone. Floated on air. Happy!
The brave souls: Empirical field research
Over the years, I have met 283 people who stutter. I analyzed their accounts, interviewed, and observed them.
This blog draws on real accounts, empirical findings, and my extensive personal experience. It will help you understand your psychology, the algorithm of stuttering, identify your version of the problem, and finally find the most effective ways of dissolving blocks.
Without control. Medication. In practice.
If that is what you seek, and:
- You had failed attempts at therapy and/or not happy with the outcome
- Don’t agree stuttering is a sentence or a disability
- Wish to restore natural fluency without the use of control or tricks
- Ready to consider unconventional views and approach
- You know you can fully recover but do not know HOW
This is not a new theory. The time of theorizing is over. Everything you learn from my blog is based on experience.
If you know you can recover fully, but do not know exactly how this blog is for you?
My blog is NOT FOR YOU if:
- You adhere to conventional views on stuttering.
- Believe stuttering is a disability or an incurable disease.
- Believe one cannot recover, only control stuttering
- Blame society for your misfortune i.e. parents etc.
- Comfortable with your stuttering, and do not wish to change a thing.
The Independent stuttering expert, researcher, and language tutor.
(BA) Hons 2014, Mres (Social Research) 2017.